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Today, I want to dive into a topic that many of us ADHDers plus many other Neurotypes can relate to: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD).
RSD is something that often goes hand in hand with ADHD, but its impact can be felt by anyone. It's that intense emotional response we experience when we feel criticised, rejected, or even just a little bit left out.
Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is when a person feels intense emotional pain related to rejection. The word “dysphoria” comes from an ancient Greek word that describes a strong — if not overwhelming — feeling of pain or discomfort.
While rejection is something people usually don’t like, the negative feelings that come with RSD are stronger and can be harder to manage or both. People with RSD are also more likely to interpret vague interactions as rejection and may find it difficult to control their reactions.
Why?
Last night I commented on a post on a social media platform, a compliment, only to get a couple of words back with a few dots at the end… yet every other comment included emojis and emotive responses…
So what?
Well RSD… it kicks in and you painfully agonise about it…
Is it a negative thing?
Have I just been humiliated?
What have I done?
Do they not like me?
Should I delete it to save face?
Why do I care?
Why am I like this?!
This person in the grand scheme of things doesn’t really matter?
So why am I wounded?
Stop it!
It says more about them than you!
Am I being ridiculous?
I'm being ridiculous!
They probably arent even giving this a second thought and your going full blown cray cray!
What are you doing?
STOOOOOOPPPPPP IIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!
OMG I should delete my comment….
And the saga continues!
So, as you can see, RSD can make social interactions feel like a minefield.
It might make you end up pondering this question:
"Should I stop being nice to people if they're not particularly nice back, just to avoid triggering my RSD?"
It's a valid question, and unfortunately the answer isn't always straightforward.
But as a sufferer for many years, here’s my two penneth to consider:
Be True to Yourself: Being nice to others is a wonderful trait, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your own well-being. You don't have to change who you are, but it's essential to set healthy boundaries and prioritise self-care.
Educate and Advocate: Sometimes, people may not understand what you're going through. Educating them about RSD and advocating for your needs can lead to more empathetic interactions.
Choose Your Battles: Not everyone deserves your kindness, and that's okay. Use your energy wisely and focus on those who appreciate your kindness.
Self-Validation: RSD can make you doubt yourself, but remember that your feelings are valid. It's OK to have a wobble as long as you can pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and offer some of that kindness to yourself! Seek support from friends, family, or professionals who understand and can help you navigate these emotions.
Fact is: being kind is a beautiful quality, but it shouldn't mean sacrificing your mental and emotional well-being. Finding the right balance and understanding your own limits is key to managing RSD while maintaining your authenticity.
Let's keep the conversation going.
How do you navigate social interactions while dealing with RSD?
Share your thoughts and experiences below! 💬👇
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