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Ah, so on the subject of the rescuer mindset – coincidentally since putting my workshops out there yesterday I’ve faced it this morning!!
It's a tricky one, isn't it?
It can sneak into every nook & cranny of our lives, from intimate relationships to friendships, &, as I've discovered on my own journey, even parenthood. 😳
The parenting part has been the real head-hitter for me.
See, I've got this incredible little firecracker of a mini. She's just 6 years old, & already a force to be reckoned with. Strong-minded, knows exactly what she wants, determined as they come, & I have to admit, maybe even more stubborn than I am. (Yep, she got her Dad's stubbornness too – not exactly the trait I had hoped we'd both pass down, but hey, it's in our DNA!)
The thing is, as her Mam, I want nothing more than to protect her from the world, to wrap her in bubble wrap & shield her from every conceivable bump and bruise (physical & emotional).
But - I am fully aware that's not going to help her grow into the strong, independent woman I know she can become.
In fact, it's been causing some epic clashes between us. 🤦🏼♀️
So today, I put my money where my mouth is…
Checked myself before I wrecked myself…
No one likes a hypocrite do they!?
Spouting off about being a recovering rescuer & then going forth & bloody rescuing would be just that!
Anyway, this morning we walked into the hairdresser's, & I made a conscious decision to sit on the opposite side of the salon. It was her time to have her own experiences, her own choices, even when it came to something as seemingly simple as how she wanted her hair to look.
I won't lie; it was tough for me to let go. I mean, what if she chose a hairstyle that she didn't like? What if she chose a bollock head?! So I reminded myself that hair grows back, & hey, I’ve rocked some questionable hairstyles in my time! (We won’t talk about the spiral permed fringe 😂)
She dropped the bombshell when we were on our way:
"I want it short."
😳
We chatted about how long it might take to grow back if she changed her mind, but made sure she knew that ultimately, it was her choice. Then, I did what any parent trying to overcome the rescuer mindset should do – I backed the chuff off & gave her the agency she deserved.
What happened?
Well one of the staff came over & told me the mini said:
"My cheeks are hurting because I can't stop smiling."
Well! Those words made every moment of doubt, every pang of wanting to protect her, completely #WorthIt.
It's a journey, for both of us, & I'm here for every step of it! Because in the end, watching her grow into her own person, with her own dreams & her own smile, is the greatest gift I can give her.
💪❤️
If you want the tools to get over your rescuer mindset & experience the small wins with me click on the link below 👇🏼
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