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To quote Elyse Myers :
"If I’m "Too Much" - ok, go find less!"
As someone navigating the world with ADHD, I've come to accept an undeniable truth: I care.
I care deeply, passionately, sometimes, it feels, unapologetically and with ENERGY.
I am an Energy!
I don’t move through life I vibrate, on the highest setting!… (I realise this makes me sound a bit like a rampant rabbit but I can’t think of another way to describe it! Plus there’s worse things to be compared to, at least they bring pleasure! 😂😂)
In a society where detachment can be a defence mechanism and indifference a shield, I wear my heart on my sleeve like a badge of honour.
But, trust me, it hasn't and still isn’t always easy!
There's a raw intensity in the way I care – a fervor that some find admirable, while others... well, let's just say it's not always their cup of tea.
I've been labelled as "too much," "intense," "scrappy," and even bestowed with the creative title of "elevenerife" due to my innate need to connect by sharing similar experiences 🤦🏼♀️ – a term that perhaps only hints at the whirlwind of emotions I can bring to a conversation.
You see, in my bid for connection, I'm not just an oversharer; I'm an enthusiastic storyteller, a compassionate friend, and a fierce advocate.
I wear my caring nature like a well-tailored suit, a multicoloured one and while it may not always fit everyone's taste, it's the fabric of my being.
It's who I am.
The truth is, it used to hurt, I mean really hurt, for years sometimes – these labels and subtle dismissals.
The sting of feeling "too much" for someone's comfort was real, and at times, it still is.
One of the reasons, if not THE reason why I have sub-consciously avoided networking events.
The term "Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria" (RSD) resonates deeply with me.
But, through the years, I’ve got better, something shifted.
I have realised that these aren't my people.
Not everyone is built to handle my particular blend of passion, connection, and unwavering loyalty.
And that's perfectly okay.
Just as we each have our favourite flavours of tea, we also have our preferred doses of intensity in human interaction.
What I used to apologise for – my boundless capacity to care – is now a trait I treasure.
It's a gift of sorts, enabling me to forge connections that run deep and strong.
So here’s my point: if my unique flavour of tea doesn't align with your palate, that's alright. Not everyone has to be enamoured with the same blend.
I personally can’t stand Earl Grey but surprisingly love a Red Bush! (Nope not prison talk, they are actual genuine tea flavours before anyone chimes in! Particularly you lot! #Veterans lol)
ADHD is a colourful blend of symptoms that aren't always immediately apparent, particularly in women.
It took me time, and a fair bit of soul-searching, to identify that I'm not a "bad egg" after all – I'm scrambled (Bill you always knew!), but not bad! It's a journey where I've learned that my intense caring isn't an anomaly; it's a genuine reflection of my neurodivergent world.
And truth be told, we possess a remarkable ability to tap into authenticity, to feel deeply, and to embrace our vulnerabilities. Yet, for some reason, society has normalised a certain level of detachment, often labeling heartfelt actions as "too much."
Maybe it's time for a paradigm shift.
So, here's where my plea comes in – an earnest request, if you will.
Could we all just be a bit more upfront please?
If you find my intensity isn't your vibe anymore, tell me!
You don't need to cloak it in cruelty or rudeness; honesty wrapped in kindness goes a long way. Trust me, a swift removal of a bandage might sting, but it's a lot gentler than the slow, lingering peel.
So, to the world that sometimes finds me "too much," I say this: I'm here, I care, and I'm learning to love the beauty of my "too much."
And to those who appreciate the depth of my emotions, I say thank you for sipping from the cup of authenticity with me.
Let's raise a mug to being upfront, vulnerable, and unapologetically ourselves – random flavours and all.
In a world of varying tastes, let's never forget that there's room for all kinds of tea.
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